THE MAD LAIRD OF SKIPNESS
Folklore created by Robert J Howie, rjhowie@yahoo.com

This story goes back to the late 1570's here in
Skipness and the Laird who went by the name of
Benjamin Crawford. He had taken the castle outside the
village many years before by conquest and was a tall,
gaunt and sometimes frightening looking man. He was a
strong built character with a beard and very
pronounced eyes in a craggy face and long, often
unkempt hair.  Locals were wary of him and felt that
when he scoured at them it was like looking into the
face of the devil himself. The servants often locked
their doors as a precaution and as we will find - a
wise move.
The village was larger and more spread out then and
had a population perhaps three times what it is now in
1974 or whatever year). The road was just as narrow
from the castle down past the house and many
supersticious people would try and avoid being there in
the dark. The wind whistling through the trees and the
odd faint lights from the castle windows gave an
unnerving picture to gossiping villagers. Even today
you know what it feels like when you wander along here
in the dark as we huddle round this paraffin lamp in
this old ruined old kirk and it's graveyard - which in
those days was the parish church. Anyway, never mind
looking round at the tombstones come in closer, it's
really dark tonight and wind is getting up and it
sometimes makes you think.......
Benjamin ruled his estate with a rod of iron and his
appearance and attitude was enough in itself to
frighten the people who depended solely on him looking
after them and providing cottages and ram work. By
1575 he had stopped attending the kirk and attempts by
the minister to redeem him failed. The minister was
eventually glad to see the back of him as on his
visits to the castle he would be met with obstanince
cursing and moaning fits of rage from the Laird. This
only served to frighten everyone all the more the
minister eventually proclaimed one Sunday that their
Laird was beyond the realm of God but an evil and
ungodly man whom he was becoming to think was of the
devil himself. This was helped by the strange chanting
and moaning that came from the laird's apartments
facing towards the kirk across the field and where we
are now.
The Laird became more and more aggressive in his rages
and often struck people down for the least little
mistake or misunderstanding. He threw people out of
their houses and hoped they would starve to death. One
Sunday afternoon he was driving back from Clonaig on a
wagon sitting beside a terrified servant and seen the
minister talking to a group of locals. He stood up and
screamed abuse and cursed and damned the minister and
everyone in Skipness. His mad, staring eyes silenced
everyone. Grabbing the reins he cried he would see
them all out of their homes and into hell and said he
was riding back to his home to meet his "frein, the
de'il himsel'".
The people couldn't take any more and met together the
next night. If they lost their homes they did not know
what would happen in a lonely place like that part o
the Mull and desperation and anger overcame their
fear. An attempt to get assistance from the Magistrate
at Tarbert resulted in a curt dismissal from him as he
put it down to the imaginations of simple rural
people. Rational thought went out of the window and
even the minister's pleas for reason were ignored as
many reminded him that he had been cursed and God and
all people. The meeting descended into a rabble and
that night they vowed together that they would have to
do something final and that meant if need be putting
their landlord to death. The fear and gloom that hung
over the village was too much to take and so on
Tuesday 20th November they quietly made their way in a
large group to the castle where they were met by a
servant at the door who knew what was to transpire.
They rushed the stairs and above them they could hear
the Laird's incantations to the devil and darkness.
Storming into the room they found him in the middle
pointing a finger at them with his widening eyes
almost straining in their sockets and his mouth
foaming in hate and terrible language. There was
hesitation at first until those at the back shoved
forward and a tremendous fight ensued. It took a great
number of men to hold him and he was taken up onto the
battlements and quickly hung with his body banging
against the window of his room. As he slowly choked to
death he spoke in a croaking voice (done by me) saying
that he would take them all to hell with him (I yell
the words at this point). The minister arrived the
next day and ordered the body down for burial and he
was to be laid to rest in a tomb almost like a room
below ground. No-one would make a coffin and was laid
on a catafulc - kind of stone table in the middle of
the tomb. The minister was the only person present.
The castle was to lie empty for a year until a distant
relation eventually claimed it but in-between times
strange happenings occurred.
At first there was a feeling of pleasantness around
and everyone felt happier as if the winter was no
longer a depressing thing. People even felt content
walking along the tree lined road just down from this
camp. The Inn filled up again at nights and there was
much singing and dancing until one winter's night just
a month or so after the death of the evil Benjamin
Crawford.
A hedge cutter coming home as dusk was falling,
stumbled and fell across something in his path and
startled he leapt to his feet and found to his horror
the body of a young girl who had been a servant in the
castle - the very one who had opened the great door on
the night of the hanging. Her head was a few feet away
where it had rolled in a path of fresh blood. He
rushed to the village and sounded the alarm. A search
found no culprit. A week later someone heard a scream
on the outskirts of the village and on searching
people found another dead body - that of a tenant
farmer just up the hill from where we are now. His
throat was cut from ear to ear. This was followed up
the following month by another local who hadn't
returned from digging a new grave. He was found part
in it with his heart almost gouged out and his eyes
placed in his open, stiff hands. People started
getting really frightened again and began to get
suspicious of each other and many arguments ensued.
Even an investigation from the Magistrate in Tarbert
accompanied by 6 soldiers who stayed for a week could
not allay the feeling of terror around. Even the
minister had to admit at a packed Sunday morning kirk
that there was almost a palpable feeling of evil
around Skipness again. The Tarbert men left as nothing
further happened.
Five days after they left the village the
schoolmaster, Mr. Duncan Brown who had taken his dog
along the shore one evening was eventually discovered
as a bloody remnant of a body with arms and legs torn
off and blood everywhere. His dog was headless.
Another week passed and a woman in a cottage near
where the present shop is waited desperately for her
husband to return home fishing. With a lamp and her
sister she left her children and went along the beach
and was surprised to find her husbands boat in the
shallows with him just sitting there. Her shouts were
ignored and on reaching the rowing boat they found him
sitting dead with his eyes wide open in a frozen state
of terror. It wasn't the fish that had been gutted it
was him. On holding the lamp up the woman screamed
uncontrollably as the corpse sat there with his hands
in his lap and what had been his insides flowing out
into his hands.
The nightmare looked as if it would never end and then
eventually after some 20 burials by almost sheer luck
an incident was to bring things to a head.
It was just getting dark as a farm worker was
trundling wood in a barrow back along towards the
village and thought he had heard something in the
darkening trees and bushes on both sides of the narrow
road. He cried out and asked who was there and the
rustling stopped. He picked up a couple of large
stones and threw them in what he hoped was the right
direction and heard a grunting noise and something or
someone falling. As this was happening a group of
villagers who been taking turns patrolling with
torches heard the commotion and the labourer's yelling
and rushed up. He told them what had happened and they
all took off into the darkness of the trees going
after the culprit. The chase took them across open
ground and more trees and then into what is now this
field  where we are camped. They couldn't quite see
properly but a vague figure of a man was seen as they
passed the castle and headed for the sea as they
thought. Then he was gone.
They cursed there misfortune but decided to make a
final effort as he could only have headed along the
rocks or back towards the village along the shoreline.
They combed across the field and towards the kirk
silhouetted against a darkening, broody sky. The
building was searched where we are now amongst these
present ruins and - nothing. Someone said they had
heard a noise somewhere close and the cemetery was
searched slowly to see if he was hiding behind a
gravestone - again nothing then the Beadle (he is the
man that looks after the church, etc.) yelled for
everyone to gather where he was. At first they
wondered what was going on because the Beadle was
standing with a flaming torch held up looking down at
the ground. He told everyone to look for they where
standing around the grave of Benjamin Crawford and the
large stone sheet across the grave had been move
slightly. Puzzled they had thoughts that the fool was
using a tomb to hide in and they started moving the
"lid" to one side. They bent down shining torches to
see if they could see anyone but they couldn't see the
corners. After some shouting that he should come out
there was nothing but silence and the dead body of the
Laird covered in the sailcloth. After discussion it
was agreed that someone would be lowered into the room
to see if the murderer was there. A rope was sent for
and then there was argument just yards away from where
we are sitting and near where you will have to go out
when we are finished in the dark. Okay wee Andy I know
you are frightened but we are nearly there. Get in
closer and wrap that blanket closer from the wind.
Some noise out there and it really is creepy looking
at all these tombstones isn't it? Just think how eerie
it is with us right now and what it would have been
like back then??.
Anyway they drew lots and it was a dead body of
Crawford that frightened most not a man they could all
overpower because he could not escape. Andy Campbell
was lowered the short distance to the stone floor and
he gave an obvious shiver as he passed the body -
wouldn't you?  I know some of younger boys are a wee
bit nervy in the darkness of this place (long pause
and a slow look round) but it might be because
of...well, never mind ..you are better not knowing.
Where was I...oh, yes. Andy Campbell said there was
no-one in the tomb and there was a feeling of
disappointment and perhaps the man had moved the stone
on the entrance to fool them? Then suddenly Campbell
gave a stifled cry (I do it) and almost dropped his
torch as he thought he had seen a movement where the
corpse lay. Someone laughed and shouted that the man
was pretending to be the corpse. Andy slowly pulled
the sailcloth off the body's head and was met by 2
madly, staring eyes with a small smile on the lips of
the white face...it was the Laird's body and the head
moved and the 2 hands came up and grabbed Campbell by
the shoulders. Andy screamed as the corpse wrestled
with him and the Laird exclaiming that had already
started sending someone of them to hell and would
continue his devil's work that night. Stones were
rained on the corpse's head and he reeled away long
enough for the villagers to yank the rope up and take
the screaming and almost berserk Campbell up. He
crawled backwards away from the tomb to be helped by
his friends. The minister said that the corpse would
have to be brought up and finished with and he went
down to try and tie the rope round the Laird. Enough
stones had rained down for the corpse to try and
protect himself with his hands and the minister got
the rope round his neck. He was hauled up quickly and
the thing struggled and screamed every conceivable
swear word he could use but up he came. More ropes
were tied to his arms and legs and he was held there
until they decided how he should be finished once and
for all from the nightmare that Skipness had become.
Burning was decided and so a bonfire was lit and the
body dragged over it when it was well lit and with
branches poking at the moving corpse. He cursed and
ranted until he became no more. The next day his ashes
were scattered in the sea and the tomb filled in. I'm
not sure where it was so be careful when you leave
here and cross the graveyard. Skipness went back to
being a quiet, pleasant and remote village and
Benjamin Crawford has been mostly forgotten over the
centuries but if you get to Edinburgh visit the
National Museum of Scotland and go the section called
"Scottish Folklore and Strange Happenings". There you
will find the records of what happened here all those
centuries ago.
That is the story boys, of the" Mad Laird of
Skipness". So perhaps when coming home here in the
dark or down here you might feel something or hear an
odd noise you will logically take it that it is all
your imagination but perhaps in the dark corners of
your mind or here....well, we will leave it at that.
Now who is going to lead the way out?...........
THE END
During the story which is actually longer with perhaps
changing detail over the years it is made very creepy
by the way I use my voice use actions etc. The area
lends itself to many stories I have told some even
more macabre but you find that boys still want to hear
the end!!

One year some new boys came up to me and said they had
asked the village storekeeper about the "Mad Laird"
and he had told them it was a lot of nonsense. That
was close call and got out of it by being "frank" with
them. I won them over by stating this....
"Listen .....this is a lovely, quiet, beautiful place
isn't it?"
"Yes sir".