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James Cookson McIntosh
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New Club House, Tapanui
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Now we have a golf club just over the hill
with a hundred damn creeks and a cute little hill
we cut grass there all morning and then we start to play
when finished drink grog in the club house till early next day.
If a misguided missle should pass by your way
you can bet it's misguided by Kennedy Rae
If you see him around with a club in his hand
If you're wise you'll start heading for healthier lands
Now we have a golfer and Pascoe's his name
one glorious slice is the pride of his game
when you see this man hunting away under the trees
you can bet he's not there bird nesting but looking for tee's
And Mr Bob Young's on a sad handicap
his swing is too short because his tum is too fat
If he tee's it to see it, he can't reach it quite
and where he can reach it is right out of sight
Then there's Speed Whiteside who runs up every hill
and leaves far behind him the creeping Kirk, Bill
there's Jimmy the Glum who's putts just won't drop in
and Robert the Corbett who drinks all the club gin
They're a great bunch of golfers Simbo, Summy and all
and they hit it a mile that little white ball
but Jacko the Beattie was the man with the foresight
to build this new club house, that we're opening tonight.
Written for the new golf club house, Tapanui. J.C.M.
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