There is now a standard reply form for FLAMING (listed under the government's

e-mail paperwork reduction act).  It is appended below.





%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Dear:



[ ] sir        [ ] clueless one [ ] twit         [ ] great man on campus

[ ] madam      [ ] dweeb        [ ] twerp        [ ] comrade

[ ] Elvis      [ ] moon beam    [ ] boor         [ ] Babe

[ ] Geek       [ ] Boob         [ ] Communist  

[ ] Republican [ ] Democrat     [ ] Liberal      [ ] Conservative

[ ] Other ( )



You are being gently flamed because.



--------------------

GENERAL

--------------------

[ ] you SCREAMED! (used all caps) 

[ ] you posted the inanely stupid 'Make Money Fast' article

[ ] you posted the inanely stupid '$250 Cookie Recipe article

[ ] you posted an inanely stupid magic weight-loss article

[ ] you posted an inanely stupid cheap s**t at high prices article

[ ] you posted an inanely stupid 'Fix Your Credit' article

[ ] you posted an inanely stupid "Good Time Virus" warning.

[ ] you repeatedly have shown lack of humor

[ ] you have a SIG with more than 4 lines of ASCII graphics

[ ] you assumed that AOL/CIS/Prodigy founded the Internet

[ ] you assumed that the Internet is a U.S. only phenomenon

[ ] Repeatedly requested info on where to find XXX stuff.

[ ] Repeatedly harassed people with androgynous names like Chris, Jamie,

    or Rajhatmalhaban, with "Are you a girl?" or "M/F?" questions.



-------------------- 

FOR LISTERVS (Open discussion Groups)

--------------------

[ ] you sent a please remove me from the list message to the 

    list rather than the list-sever

[ ] you continued a boring useless stupid thread

[ ] you repeatedly posted to the same thread that you just posted to

[ ] you repeatedly initiated incoherent, flaky, and mindless threads

[ ] you posted a piece riddled with profanities

[ ] you advocated Net censorship

[ ] you repeatedly assumed unwarranted moral or intellectual superiority

[ ] you are under the misapprehension that this group is your preserve

[ ] you are apparently under compulsion to post to every thread

[ ] you are posting an anonymous attack

[ ] you responded to an obvious troll

[ ] you posted an obvious troll

[ ] you neglected to do research on the chosen subject

[ ] you asked a question that was covered in the available FAQ

[ ] you redundantly covered the same point over and over

[ ] you crossposted excessively

[ ] you used long lines, i.e. you didn't break up your lines after

    60-70 characters, thereby making it hard to quote your post.

[ ] You posted a request to send business/get well cards to a little boy

     with cancer who is trying to break the Guinness book record.

[ ] Over 90% of your post was quoted from a previous post.

[ ] Over 90% of your post was quoted from a previous post and your

    addition was "I agree" or "Me too."

[ ] Barged into a quiet little newsgroup/IRC channel/MUD/whatever and



    started stinking up the place just because you read an article about

    the newsgroup/IRC channel/MUD/whatever in some magazine or had seen

    it on TV etc....



[ ] you discussed the following in a non-nutcase newsgroup:

    [ ] hollow earth theory            [ ] alien President theory

    [ ] orbital mind control frisbees  [ ] faith healing

    [ ] government weather control     [ ] Russian psychics

    [ ] Squeaky Fromme                 [ ] the nation of France

    [ ] robot spy bees                 [ ] sexually promiscuous space

                                           aliens

    [ ] "Manos, the Hands of Fate"     [ ] Beavis & Butthead anything

    [ ] flat earth theory              [ ] government conspiracy theory

    [ ] the veracity of any X-Files plot (see all of the above)    

    [ ] Other: 



[ ] you considered the following to be reliable reference sources:

    [ ] Golden Books' "Exploring Science", printed 1955

    [ ] Any program covered by Talk Soup   or [ ] SNL News

    [ ] Oliver Stone           [ ] Hard Copy  [ ] Inside Edition

    [ ] The National Enquirer  [ ] The Sun    [ ] NY Post

    [ ] The Union Leader       [ ] Pravda     [ ] OMNI Magazine

    [ ] Company Marketing Hype [ ] Microsoft  [ ] Give-away psychiatric

journals

    [ ] An unidentified, but obviously stupid, person or publication

    [ ] Other:



In the future, you may wish to:



[ ] not delete the "welcome to the list" message you received when you joined

[ ] allow boring and useless threads to die

[ ] remember that not all newsreaders are threaded

[ ] recall that there are academic and commercial users on the net

[ ] remember that the Internet is multinational

[ ] consider that others may know more about certain subjects than you

[ ] exercise some humility

[ ] be careful of where you are crossposting to

[ ] 'lurk' without posting for a few days to learn the forum of a group

[ ]  get used to being mocked

[ ] stop volunteering for Armed Forces pharmaceutical experiments



I would like to suggest that, for the common good, you:



[ ] wait at least two hours before responding to another post

[ ] read the FAQ (frequently asked questions) list for the group

[ ] learn to use the 'kill' command to eliminate erroneous posts

[ ] post only to alt.dev.null

[ ] selectively respond to threads after reading all new messages in that

thread

[ ] voluntarily apologize in a brief post

[ ] no longer contribute to this newsgroup/mailing list

[ ] no longer contribute to any newsgroup/mailing list

[ ] no longer contribute to the gene pool

[ ] look into the possibility of medication for the above problems

[ ] familiarize yourself with the history of the Internet

[ ] Re-install what ever failed mental operating system   you are currently 

    running on

[ ] familiarize yourself with the concept of:

            [ ] patience            [ ] tolerance           [ ] caution

            [ ] common courtesy     [ ] succinctness

            [ ] vocabulary          [ ] higher brain functions

[ ] Other:





Please save this message and review it occasionally to determine

your progress toward being:





[ ] a useful member of Internet society

[ ] a less annoying member of Internet society

[ ] a human being

[ ] a fully-functional human being

[ ] a tolerable poster

[ ] integrated into humanity

[ ] re-integrated into the wild

[ ] Other: