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When the mind gets "boggled"
The pressure is on. It is Tuesday night and I haven't taken time to think yet
this week. Thursday is generally the day I set aside to think, but I must have
been too busy, or maybe I just forgot. Kind of hard to tell the difference these
days.. This could prove to be interesting.
Generally, I attribute these new problems of the mind with the recent
usage of the miracle diet drug, fen-phen. I would like to believe that prior to
the medication I was sharp witted and a quick thinker, with the philosophy that
anyone can do anything he or she puts his or her mind to, but I seem to have
lost that capability somewhere along the line. The doctor says not to worry,
once I'm off the medication it will clear up.(1997)
I have always been a borderline dip, but I liked to think I covered it up with
humor. When the kids were little and there were more of them than there was of
me, the old mind was really stretched to the max on more than one occasion. You
can probably relate to that!
The mind doesn't necessarily go wacko on its own. I think we kind of help it
along sometimes without even knowing it. In my case, it's usually the same old
story ... gotta lose a couple hundred pounds here, so get back
on whatever you can con the old doctor out of. Way back there in the 60s...yes,
I can remember that far back ... I was put on a miracle drug and dropped to a
skinny little thing within a year, and I stayed that way for four years until
the FDA decided it was an amphetamine and my supply was shut off. They were very
powerful and did
strange things to the mind, so once I was thin, I dropped to about three pills a
week. It was only on the days I took the pills that I also smoked two packs of
cigarettes a day (lighting up the first one only after the pill kicked in). The
days with no pills, I didn't smoke
We came home to Reliance on vacation one summer and no one knew for sure which
one of those Stallman girls I was, so they called me everyone but Barbara,
because she was the fat one. My sister Frances was also home at the same
time and we went over to the Methodist church to a quilt fair and to see old
friends. As we crossed the street, this wonderful old family friend came
up to us and visited with as we walked to the church. At one point Frances got
ahead of us and this sweet little lady whispered into my ear, "You know Frances,
Barbara always did
look older than you." What a hoot! Poor thing never had a clue she was talking
to the wrong sister.
When we were young (14 and 16) Frances and I both worked in Chamberlain. She at
the Rainbow Cafe for Babe and Irene Cullen, and me at the Silver Leaf for Harvey
and Virgie Soulek. We looked like twins and enjoyed the confusion we caused when
a person we waited on in the morning would be waited on at noon by the
look-alike in the cafe across the street. So, where is all of this going? I
don't know. I just haven't figured out how to put an end to it, so I have to
keep typing until it comes to me. This could be bad ...
Back to when I was on the amphetamines. It became a family joke to call me
"dippy." It started with one of the family doing it, then a second, then all of
them were doing it and it wasn't funny anymore. I was even starting to
believe it.
I think this is called brainwashing. When someone tells you the same thing over
and over it eventually becomes acceptable (to you) and they begin the take over
of your mind and you are no longer your own person. This is not
healthy for you or for the ones who love you. Always remember, you do have a
mind of your own and if you don't continue to use it, you could lose it. It's a
good thing I made them stop calling me "Dippy"! On the other hand, being dippy
isn't really all that bad. I think it is just like selective hearing ... you get
away with lots more that way.
Told you this was going to be a bummer.
I'm putting these columns back online in 2003. The doctor was wrong about the
mind ....................
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