I never noticed
when Bill left the house
I wonder when it happened. I wasn't even aware of it
when it did, and it feels "okay," too.
Ed and I had a backyard morning last Thursday and as he
mowed, I gathered up a huge batch of lilacs, irises, honey-
suckle, Mountain Ash blossoms, mollies, bleeding hearts and one three-foot-tall
faded rose tulip to stand tall in the center of the basket. What a beautiful
array of flowers!
I was going to take them to the office to let the
fragrance permeate the room and as I'm driving toward Al's, it was as if Bill
hollered across the way, "Hey, bring those over here!" So I did. I turned the
car around and headed for the cemetery and put the beautiful flower bouquet
beside his grave marker and it was good. I was surprised to find myself standing
there telling him I'd brought him flowers from his flower bed and suddenly
realized it seemed as though he was there and when did he leave. I hadn't even
noticed! Maybe it was when we put his marker up there a month or so ago or, with
so much else going on with us this past month, he knew it would be okay to go.
I wonder if this is another stage of the grieving
process, or just another stage of life. What a mysterious time channel we go
through from start to finish. What is life all about, anyway!?!
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