What Jeff Foxworthy has to say about
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
If your Dairy Queen is closed from September
through May,
you live in Pittsburgh .
If someone in a Home
Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there,
you live in Pittsburgh
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same
time,
you live in Pittsburgh
If you've had a
lengthy telephone conversation with someone
who dialed a wrong
number,
you live in Pittsburgh
If an old chair left in a cleared parking spot
on a snowy street looks to you like a declaration of the sovereignty over that
spot,
you live in Pittsburgh
If 'Jumbo' doesn't
refer to a fictional elephant but means a kind of luncheon meat,
you live in Pittsburgh
If you can both 'go up street' or 'dawntawn',
you live in Pittsburgh
If Versailles
is pronounced as if it is spelled 'versales',
you live in Pittsburgh
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of
the Mason Dixonline for the weekend,
you live in Pittsburgh
If you measure
distance in hours, you live in Pittsburgh
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in
the same day and back again
you live in Pittsburgh
If someone offers
you an 'ahrn' and you know to drink it,
you live in
Pittsburgh
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow
during
a raging blizzard without flinching,
you live in Pittsburgh
If you carry jumper
cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them,
you live in
Pittsburgh
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to
fit over a snowsuit,
you live in Pittsburgh
If the speed limit
on the highway is 55 mph --
you're going 80 and
everybody is passing you,
you live in
Pittsburgh
If driving is better in the winter because the
potholes are filled with snow,
you live in Pittsburgh
If you know all 4
seasons: almost winter, winter,
still winter and
road construction,
you live in
Pittsburgh
If you have more miles on your snow blower
than your car,
you live in Pittsburgh
If you find 10
degrees 'a little chilly',
you live in Pittsburgh
If you actually understand these jokes, and
forward them to all your Pittsburgh friends & others,
you live or have lived in Pittsburgh