MAKING FACES
If you're new to Newsgroups, you may wonder what all those
silly sideways symbols mean. We're going to save you some
time by listing all the most common symbols (also called
'emoticons') along with their generally accepted meanings.
:-) Smiling
:-D Laughing
:-/ Scowling
:-O Surprise, Shock
>:-( Angry
:-( Unhappy
:-p Sticking out your tongue
;-) Winking
<:-o Eeeks!
:-I Indifferent
:-x Kiss, kiss
:-# My lips are sealed
:/) Not funny
:-* Oops! Covering mouth with hand
:-D Very big smile/ said with a smile
o :-) Angel
&:-\ Elvis
@@@@@:-) Marg Simpson
LIFE AMONG THE OPINIONATED
Wonder what all those acronyms in Newsgroups postings
mean? So do we sometimes. We don't know what they all
mean because new ones seem to appear almost daily. Here is
a list of the more common acronyms, the ones that have been
around a while.
AFAIK As far as I know
BTW By the way
HTH Hope this helps
IMHO In my humble opinion
IMNSHO In my not so humble opinion
IMO In my opinion
IOW In other words
LOL Laughing out loud
ROTFL Rolling on the floor laughing
YMMV Your mileage may vary
{g} Grin
{BG} Big grin
Sorry I couldn't resist this one either. I think I'm addicted to the
stuff.
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road??
Machiavelli:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The
ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.
The Bible:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.
Fox Mulder:
It was a government conspiracy.
Freud:
The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals
your underlying sexual insecurity.
Darwin:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in
such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
Richard M. Nixon:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not
cross the road.
Oliver Stone:
The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is
rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked
in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
Jerry Seinfeld:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to
ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the
place anyway?"
Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
Grandpa:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good
enough for us.
Bill Gates:
I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads
AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets
1.4999999999.
M.C.Escher:
That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was on at the time.
George Orwell:
Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was
crossing the road of his own free will,when he was really only serving
their interests.
Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?
Plato:
For the greater good.
Aristotle:
To actualize its potential.
Karl Marx:
It was a historical inevitability.
Nietzsche:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also
across you.
Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken
depends upon your frame of reference.
Pyrrho the Skeptic:
What road?
Buddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.
Emily Dickenson:
Because it could not stop for death.
Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.
Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Saddam Hussein #2:
It is the Mother of all Chickens.
Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!
O.J.:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
BEER TRIVIA or Little known facts on why beer makes the the world go round.
1. It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month
after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all
the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar
was lunar based, this period was called the "honey month" or what we know
today as the "honeymoon".
2. Before thermometers were invented, brewers would dip a thumb or finger
into the mix to find the right temperature for adding yeast. Too cold, and
the yeast wouldn't grow. Too hot, and the yeast would die.
This thumb in the beer is where we get the phrase "rule of thumb".
3. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England,
when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them to mind their
own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind
your P's and Q's".
4. Beer was the reason the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock. It's clear
from the Mayflower's log that the crew didn't want to waste beer looking
for a better site. The log goes on to state that the passengers "were
hasted ashore and made to drink water that the seamen might have the more
beer".
5. After consuming a bucket or two of vibrant brew they called aul, or ale,
the Vikings would head fearlessly into battle often without armor or even
shirts. In fact, the term "berserk" means "bare shirt" in Norse, and
eventually took on the meaning of their wild battles.
6. In 1740, Admiral Vernon of the British fleet decided to water down the
navy's rum. Needless to say, the sailors weren't too pleased and called
Admiral Vernon, Old Grog, after the stiff wool grogram coats he wore. The
term "grog" soon began to mean the watered down drink itself. When you were
drunk on this grog, you were "groggy", a word still in use today.
7. In the middle ages, "nunchion" was the word for liquid lunches. It was
a combination of the words "noon scheken", or noon drinking. In those
days, a large chunk of bread was called lunch. So if you ate
bread with your nunchion, you had what we still today call a luncheon.
8. Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the
rim or handle of their ceramic cups. when they needed a refill, they used
the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle", is the phrase
inspired by this practice.