Berwick Register,
January 29, 1936
Funnygrams
Prospective Purchaser – My sisters and I haven’t a chauffeur, so we must have a car that a woman can manage and run.
Polite Salesman – This is the car for you, miss. It is ab-so-lute-ly foolproof!Californian – Now, in my State we can grow a tree that size in about a year. How long did it take you to grow that one?
Floridan – Can’t say for sure, but it wasn’t there yesterday.Waffles – I here you rode on the cowcatcher of a locomotive once. I bet you were scared.
Sorghum – You bet. I didn’t know what minute I was going to be hit by an auto.They were lost in a snowstorm.
"Oh, look, George! There’s a chicken, so we must be near a farm."
"That’s not a chicken. That’s the weathercock on the parish church."Ah," exclaimed the touring manager hopefully as after a week of disappointing houses, his dispirited company unloaded themselves at the station of another country town. "This looks better! And, see! There’s even a cheerful sunset to welcome us!"
"Sunset," sniffed the porter. "That’s the theatre. It’s been on fire all the afternoon."Visitor: You say that public building over there cost $2,000,000? Doesn’t that seem like a terrible price for such a building?
Citizen: Why, man if you knew the gang that got the contract you’d think we’re getting off cheap.The very raw recruit had just had a real good dressing down from the young lieutenant. Next day he passed the lieutenant without saluting. He was stopped.
"Why didn’t you salute me?" demanded the officer.
"W-well, sir," said the rookie, "I thought you were still cross with me."