The Even Lighter Side of Genealogy
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The Even Lighter Side of Genealogy
A collection of taglines, prose, poems and humor.

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From: David Wardell on April 8, 2002:
Can a first cousin, once removed, return?
Cemetery: (n) A marble orchard not to be taken for granite.
Crazy.... is a relative term in MY family.
Genealogy: Chasing your own tale!
Genealogy: It's all relative in the end anyway.
Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.
I trace my family history so I will know who to blame.
It's hard to be humble with ancestors like mine!
Life takes it's toll. Have exact change ready!
Searching for lost relatives? Win the Lottery!
That's strange; half my ancestors are WOMEN!
Do I even WANT ancestors? Some I found I wish I could lose.
Every family tree has some sap in it.
FLOOR: (n) The place for storing your priceless genealogy records.
Friends come and go, but relatives tend to accumulate.
Genealogists do it in the library.
Genealogists live in the past lane.
Genealogists never die, they just loose their roots.
Genealogy: A hay stack full of needles. It's the threads I need.
Genealogy: Collecting dead relatives and sometimes a live cousin!
Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and irritate the living.
Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools!
I looked at my family tree...there were two dogs using it.
I think my family tree is a few branches short of full bloom.
Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards.
My ancestors are hiding in a witness protection program.
My family tree is a few branches short! Research: What I'm doing, when I don't know what I'm doing.
Take nothing but ancestors, leave nothing but records.
Theory of relativity: If you go back far enough, we're all related.

"A Step backwards is Progress to a Genealogist."

From Cathleen S. ELTRINGHAM on June 10, 2001:
Old genealogist never die, they just haunt cemeteries and lose their census.

"Knowledge is communicable, but not wisdom"
Hermann Hesse, Siddharta

Used by Sue Seibert
"It is worthwhile for anyone to have behind him a few generations of honest, hard-working ancestry."
--J. P. Marquand

Used by Jeff Scism

  • "Anybody can make history, only a great man can write it."
    Oscar Wilde, Aphorisms
  • "There is no slavery but ignorance."
    R. G. Ingersoll
  • "Le sens commun, n'est pas si commun"
Used by Will and Donnelle Huntley
". . and then the thing is, that if you risk nothing, you risk even more"

Used by John aka Capt'n John
The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, MD (1809 - 1894)

From Maggie Stewart-Zimmerman
God Put Me On Earth to Accomplish a Certain Number of Things. Right Now I am so far behind, I will never die. --- Unknown

From Su Wilson
I'd rather be looking for dead people than have them looking for me!

From Anita (nee: Merlo) Gauld
"Crazy" is a relative term in MY family
A family reunion is an effective form of birth control
A family tree can wither if nobody tends it's roots
A great many family trees were started by grafting
Was Uncle Fester *REALLY* AC/DC?
A miser is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor
A new cousin a day keeps the boredom away
Alright! Everybody out of the genetic pool!
Always willing to share my ignorance...
Am I the only person up my tree - seems like it
Ancestors were just people...
Any family tree produces some lemons, nuts and bad apples
At last a chance to make my skeletons dance!
Aunt Grace's surname was not GEDCOM
Biochemists wear designer genes
Bring out your dead.............
C A U T I O N ! ... You have now entered the Genealogy Zone
Climbing my family tree was fun until the nuts appeared!
Cousins marrying cousins: A non-branching family tree
Cousins marrying cousins: VERY tangled roots!
Death is just nature's way of dropping carrier
Do I hear the rattle of chains?
Documentation....The hardest part of genealogy
Does that run in your family?
Don't sit under the family tree with anyone else but me!
Ever find an ancestor HANGING from the family tree?
Every family tree has some sap in it
Everybody wants to be on the Mayflower
Everybody's ancestors could not fit on Columbus's ship
Evolution is God's way of issuing updates
Cleaning out the gene pool, one at a time
Collecting dead relatives can be "stinky"
FLOOR: (n) The place for storing your priceless genealogy records
For a reply, send a self-abused, stomped elephant to...
Gedcoms eaten by the Net 273 Mail Muncher (tm)
Gene-Allergy - It's a contagious disease, but I love it!
Genealogists are like monkeys, always in the trees
Genealogists never marry first cousins, unless......
Genealogists are time unravelers
Genealogists do it generation after generation....
Old genealogists never die, they just lose their census
Genealogists live in the past lane
Old genealogists never die, they just haunt cemeteries
Genealogy - a search for the greatest treasures - our ancestors
Genealogy - it's only an obsession after all!
Genealogy - will I ever find time to mow the lawn again?
Genealogy is like Hide & Seek: They Hide & I Seek!'s not a hobby, it's an obsession
Genealogy: Chasing your own tale!
Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people
Genealogy Lotto XXXXXXXXXXXX (Scratch here to reveal ancestor)
Ghosts are merely unsubstantiated roomers
Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools!
How can one ancestor cause so much TROUBLE ??
I can trace my Taglines back 8 generations
I looked into my family tree and found out I was a sap
I looked up my family tree...there were two dogs using it
I researched my family tree... apparently I don't exist!
I shook my family tree, a bunch of nuts fell out
I should have asked them BEFORE they died!
I think my ancestors had several "bad heir" days
I used to have a life, then I started doing genealogy
I want to find ALL of them! So far I only have a few thousand
I'd rather look for dead people than have 'em look for me
I'm always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower
I'm no genealogist. ... Until this year I spelled it "geneOlogist!"
I'm not sick, I've just got fading genes
I'm not stuck, I'm ancestrally challenged
I'm searching for myself; Have you seen me?
I'm stuck in my family tree, and I can't get down
If only people came with pull-down menus and on-line help...
Isn't genealogy fun? The answer to one problem, leads to two more!
It is hereditary in my family not to have children
It's a poor family that hath neither a whore or a thief
It's hard to believe that someday I'll be an ancestor
It's 1996. Do you know where your great-grandparents were?
Jeanealogy: the study of LEVIS and WRANGLERS
Many a family tree needs trimming
May the Saint of Genealogists bless you!
My ancestors must be in a witness protection program!
My family came on the Mayflower...or was it Allied?
My family coat of arms ties at the that normal?
My family tree is a few branches short! Help appreciated
My family tree is lost in the forest
My family tree must have been used for firewood
My genes are so tight, they may stay with me forever
My hobby is genealogy, and I raise dust bunnies as pets
My skeletons are rhythmically impaired and can't dance
Old Italians don't die.....they HIDE!
Only a Genealogist regards a step backwards as progress
Originality is the art of concealing your sources
RELATIVES...People who come to dinner who aren't friends
Remember, undocumented genealogy is mythology.
Searching passenger ship records? Simply naval gazing
Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall!
Share your knowledge, it is a way to achieve immortality
Shh! Be vewy, vewy quiet...I'm hunting forebears. Elmer Fudd
Snobs talk as if they had begotten their own ancestors!
So many little time!
That's strange; half my ancestors are WOMEN!
That's the problem with the gene pool: No lifeguard
The gene pool could use a little chlorine!
There is strength in our Roots
They've said *you* are the fertilizer of your family tree!
To a genealogist, EVERYTHING is relative!
Try genealogy. You can't get fired and you can't quit!
Warning!! There are no lifeguards in the gene pool!
Were you born with that?
What do you mean your wife's not ITALIAN?
What do you mean my Birth Certificate expired?
What do you mean my family tree has root rot!
Who said Russia? I said she was Gyno-American!
When I searched for ancestors, I found friends!
When marriage is outlawed only outlaws will have inlaws
Whoever said "seek and ye shall find" was NOT a genealogist
Why are there so many gnarled limbs on my family tree?
With MY luck, my family tree has root-rot!
Yikes! My genes are faded and full of holes!

Last Update: 9 Apr, 2002

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